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A Century Of Fakers

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[28 Dec 2008|12:12pm]
last night i had the strangest dream. I dreamt of my cat Stripey that ran away almost 2 years ago. In my dream my mom and i were sitting the the back yard of our house and it was an ugly day and everything looked really shitty and all the sudden stripey came walking up out of nowhere. it was really really sad though because his face was all disfigured and he had like, long hair and was all shaggy and dirty. and in the dream i thought he was going to be wild and crazy and not remember me but he came right up to me and started purring and rubbing on my leg and stuff and he remembered jewley too and went up to her and played with her and she was actually really really nice to him even though he was soo ugly and disfigured and hardly looked the same. but I wonder why Im having dreams about him coming home...

and I also remember another dream I had last night where I was driving everywhere and I was driving everyone around and for some reason it was really really hard for me to drive and I kept getting pulled over by the cops but I kept getting away with driving without a license.

Dreams are so strange.

anyways. last night R*** admitted to me about fucking M***. I knew it. i fucking KNEW IT from the very beginning. from MONTHS ago. I just wish someone would have said something. someone meaning her because why the hell would matt tell me? He doesn't need to, and he doesn't care enough to. so of course he wasn't going to say anything. Well, whatever. this whole situation is whatever. matt is an easy little man whore. hes just always there so of course when theres nothing to do and i want sex, I fuck him. and im sure its the same in rene's case. but for him to ignore us and treat US like shit and say all the stupid shit like " you bitches are just mad cause you want my tantalizing body" UMM, what? ahhhhh

I dont know why i even care, im almost past caring actually. I have another boy in my life who has been in my life for a long time town. were not together. but so what. I actually care about him and I know he cares about me and I like him a lot. So focusing on other guys who honestly dont give a FUCK about me is pointless and stupid on my part.

alright, well Im going to have lunch with my dad at the Grand Lux.
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[21 Nov 2006|01:16pm]
alright im gonna attempt to make a quick update

thursday : diana, steven teh brit, cassie, brittany, kristi, allie, & colin all came over & we made vegan cupcakes. then some kidzzzleft & me brit & diana hung out for a while at pizzafuision & tijuana & my back yard & the neighbors yard. steven left & me and diana went to the park in boca then i slept overrrr

woke up really early, got picked up, barn, work from 11 to 7something, went to renes. LAN PARTY THING at nigth ahhahah it was hilarious & kinda retarded but suprisingly fun umm then slept at renes house. woke up at 6 & went to a meeting.

then i went back to my friend britanny that i work withs house & her mom is like a crazy stoner & we had bagels then i had to go into work til 5. some crazy shit happend there, i basically got threatend and punched in the face with a cardboard box.UMM after work i went home & sleppptt for a LONGG time. at likeee 9something becca & another britanny came over and picked me up. we hung out & ended up back at beccas house

SUNDAY kristi picked me up we got my hair straightener back & then went swimming and sat int he back yardd ummmm saw lovely diana & christy later got introuble & smoked watermelong hoookah thats basically my life story

okay, the bells going off in likeeee 5 4 3 2 11111...something Have nice dayssss
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[31 Oct 2006|12:56pm]
I knowingly do things
that will hurt me, but I
can't stop myself from doing so. I draw
irrational conclusions. I ignore the obvious
and get caught up on details that don't mean
much of anything. I am self-destructive.

[23 Oct 2006|01:06pm]
kizzletizzle and I found some retarded email pictures & sent them to the lady. & at lunch christian made me look like a true life mexican, hood up, 1 button. it was hilarious. True life: I am a mexican.

8 moments until mrs Pelligrino's hell class. Kt is telling me how she thinks my bowl looks like a god bowl it definetly doesnt. Zolna wouldnt let us take the pottery home so i just put it in my bag & walked away right when the bell rang. Its so cute! I loveeeeittttttt

I went to Shriek week with becca to visit brittany. then we went back to brittany's house & we drove out to coral springs to steak & shake yesssdssdjfsd. oh I also saw diana a few times this weekend. thursday & friday we went swimming alot. oh & I saw marie antoinette with my mom. if you see that, Look at the scenes where theyre showing all the shoes & they show a pair of blue hightop converses i swear! its so strange!

this weeks plans:
nothing, nothing, nothing, then mall with REbecca, urban outfitters with rene & vanessa & the insurgents show (LOL) possibly a sleepover. I dont know yet

OH & i got a job finally.
starbucks, yuppp.
in barnes&nobles in Ft. Lauderdale. Im pretty much excited : ] wooo

alright, thats enough.
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[19 Oct 2006|09:05am]
Mr Mumtaz's midterm wasnt as bad as i thought it would be, & I think I did good. Yesss
But he's insane, he just made some kid do a bunch of push ups on the ground infront of everyone because he printed something without asking. Next up, French Midterm. This is gonna be hard =\ I want this day to be over. I want this weekend to be over actually, that way next week could be here & I could do what I want again. groundedgroundedddgroundeddd im so sick of the word grounded.

today after school = Nothing
yesterday though my mom let diana bring me home. she brought me home tuesday too. tuesday morning she picked me up at 5 something & we got breakfast at dennys, then yesterday me and her and jeff went to wendys after school. but im not really allowed out, thats as far as it goes, & asking to do that is already "pushing it" whateverrrrrrr
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[15 Oct 2006|06:38pm]
Panthr2008: does gio date girls like this
Panthr2008: http://www.newredarchives.com/bands/snapher/Sh2.JPG
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[15 Oct 2006|05:35pm]
rene: i feel like once the coke supply runs down things will change wit all of them
me: haha yeah but whens that gonna happen
rene: lets nuc mexcio
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[12 Oct 2006|01:10pm]
well its the weekend again.
I didnt go to school twice this week. report cards are soon & I hope my grades are good. tonight is the yeahyeahyeah's & im soo happy! bunch of people are gonna be there, kristi, jeff, vanessa, colton, vicky, andrew, treesa, becca, brittany, diego, bradford my stop by for a while & mark and soemone might stop by before it starts for a while to. tonights gonna be CRAZY! & so Is tomorrw night. Me christy & kristi are all going to halloween horror nights and staying at the royal pacific! yessss this is gonna be the best weekend =D

Oh & im not friends with Kirstie anymore. we havnt talked in days. its weird. Just to let you know, not that it really matters to anyone else.
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how are you feeling? Im right on the edge & I dont know what comes next... [09 Oct 2006|11:26am]
[ mood | just fine. ]

things are decent right now.
a few decisions that need to be made, that i cant seem to make yet.. but other than that things are pretty decent.

this weekend was so interesting.

Thursday me and kristi went to the mall and saw megan and shelly. then we hung out with richie and jesse for a while & gave them a ride somewhere.

Friday was the homecoming game. Diana came over for a while. then kristi came and diana left and me and kristi hung out for a while. We wen ton noah's roof! it was nice then we did some stuff. I dont remember. then we picked up jeff and went to star 7. we had to campout in the mcdonalds parking lot and wait for a police officer to leave *7 but then we went back & went to the game. we didnt actually go in. we hungo out in the parking lot with jane & some other people. I started feeling shitty so I was just sitting ther ethen I was like Oh man I need to throw up so I went behind this baseball building and threw up. it was nasty. I NEVER throw up from drinking. then I layed down for a while and i got home at 11 something.

Then saturday Scaggz picked me up & we went to the barn with bradford. then we met kat kaylea and keeley for lunch at skippers and waited for kristi to get off. Mr. Fuckass was there. hes such a faggot. im nto kidding. He got on the phone with 'his boys' to tell them that bradford was there. HAHA wtf were they gonna do? Hop on the city bus and cause a scene in skippers?? hahaha. w/e. anyways so we ate lunch and then kristi got off. we dropped brad off and then me scaggz and kristi went back to scaggz house and got in kristi's car to go back. got our nails done. got dressed and stuff. made the electricity in my room not work on accident. which sucked. Then we went to star7 ofcourse. went picked up mark jay at the aventura mall then went back to the apartment place for a while. kept drinking. by then me and kristi were pretty drunk and scaggzzzz was just out of her fucking mind. after that we finally went to the dance around 9-9:30. I saw kt outside for like, a second. then we went in and saw everyone. it was fun. except christy kept gettting worse and crazyier and more out of control. So we left around 11 & started driving to crabby's. we drank some more in the car & picked up richie. thne we met mark and tommy at glacier & drove to crabby's. There, it was all drama. scaggs pissed me off so much. she kept drinking and WOULDNT stop. she was already shitfaced, I dont know why she wasnt passed out already. but I took a bottle of patron away from her and she screamed "FUCK YOU" at me. So i was like are you kidding me?? WTF! FUCK YOU YOU DRUNK BITCH!!BLAHBLAHBLAH" so we got in a fight in the parking lot. its all good now. we were both just drunk and angry. after a while we went home and my mom immediatly knew christy was fucked up but she wasnt mad. she was only mad because we were late. my mom never gave me a real time though, so I don tknow how we were 'late'.

and in the middle of the night, I woke up to christy Scaggs going OH MY GOD. HOW DO I TURN OF THESE FUCKING CHRISTMAS LIGHTS. THen I hear her violently ripping all the plugs out from the wall..ahah theystill didnt go off, they were in the other socket thing but haaha it was so funny.

YYY'S!(I cannot wait!)

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Chad keeps saying "I like pie. I like Cake. I like Pie. I like Piiieee" [03 Oct 2006|12:35pm]
here is a detailed entry about my weekend:

alright soooo
on friday, Kristi and me hung out all day. We ended up going to boomers til 11:30 with dennis jesse & richie. faggots. it was fun though, minus all the bullshit fighting.

Saturday was the best. scaggz picked me up & we went horseriding for a while then we went to skippers around 5 and waited for kristi to get off work. then we all went back to scaggz's house and got ready for dinner. we ate at stircrazy with morgan, kaylae, billy, juan, tim?, and 2 other kids that I didnt know. thennn we dropped some people off and went to the hooka hut in boca and smoked mint strawberry tabbacco shit that was really really good. it was such a cute place! thenn we went to the deerfield beach for a while. THEN some shit happend at skippers with kristi. it included, loud arguments, punching, choke-holds, screaming, threats, slashing tires, throwing beer bottles, and yeah. bullshit. now i have dennis asking me "where the fuck does your friend live...hes gonna be fuckin dead blahblahblahhhh" he pulled his fucking switchblade out and asked me where he lives! WTF! I didnt do ANYTHING. whatever.

sunday me and kristi hung out again. we hung out with jeff for a while at starbucks then we all went to the beach. after we dropped him off we drove for while then I went home.

monday me and kristi went to bru's room then the barn then we picked up marlena & brought her to some guys house. shes getting a tattoo & the guy said he would give me and kristi one. so once i come up with some money, thats what im gonna do. yess im pretty much exctied.

so thats all about my weekend. im excited for homecoming! & im excited about not being grounded anymore..
im kinda of grounded, but not really. only from certain people.. but thats alright, i can deal with that.

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[27 Sep 2006|11:14am]
People take for granted the positive in their own lives, the health, the happiness and the love by dwelling on negative things which will never happen.
I am often one of these people.
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[25 Sep 2006|10:06pm]
soo last night was the strokes. becca picked me up and we got tracked down by some asshole about a million times for not parking right. so we ended up giving in and paying the 10 dollars to park right in front. thenn we met up with shaina & colton & went to walgreens got some granola bars and a few other things then headed back but we had to park at ipeks & walk there.so then we went in and oh man club cinema is pretty much awesome. it reminds me of revolution. very...foggy. so me,becca, augusto, vicky & andrew sat up stairs for a while and after the ridiculous open act was finally over we made our way kinda near the front of the stage and waited for like 30 mins for the strokes to finally come on. it was fucking amazing. seriously. amaaaazzzinggggg. I got pretty close and i was all like oh mah godd Juliaaannn! also, i instigated a fight on accident & felt horrible about it. oh and everyone hated colton because of his crazy dancing/&his hair that was smaking everyone in the face. but anyways, the show was GREAT!!!

& I cannot wait to see the yeah yeah yeah's
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
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we were really high, and we were driving and we got lost, and the driver started hearin voices [23 Sep 2006|03:20pm]
..this is how i almost died
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[21 Sep 2006|10:36am]
being friends with people who dont care is too much work
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[14 Sep 2006|12:52pm]
hustle bustleCollapse )
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[11 Sep 2006|12:51pm]
gogol bordelloCollapse )
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[15 Aug 2006|01:07pm]
today im hanging out w/ kristi after school. scaggs leaves in a few days =\
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[14 Aug 2006|06:09am]
alright. its almost time to go to school now. I dont wannaaaa =(

this summer was decent. the beginning of june & the end of july were pretty much the best. started hanging out w/ katie alot, drinking alot, a few shows, sneaking kidz into my window in the middle of the night, ect ect. it was pretty fun. its early in the morning & im too tired for this kind of update so there will be a more elaboarate post later. the last night of summer, well it sucked. it wasnt anything special & i wanted to have fun. but w/e. ughhh school in like, ...15 mins. gross!
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[06 Aug 2006|05:49pm]
Is it destruction that you require to feel
like somebody wants you, someone that's more for real.

lately EVERYTHING has been up and down. im not talking about lately like the past few days. but like, the last few months. this whole year has been kinda ridiculously unstable & just confusing in general. a lot of shit has happend.some people know about everything, some dont. whatever. alot of my 'friends' arent really my friends anymore. ive realized who the true ones are. which is good I guess.

Iwant to say stuff that I actually feel without thinkingit over so much. why is it so impossible for me? its really frustrating. im tired of crtisism. I wanna talk without hesitating. why is it so fucking hard? maybe its because I have nothing to say most of the time.. I dont know. everythngs been getting to me lately. & it feels like things are crashing down. but then i do stuff to hide that & it makes me feel good. but when that goes away i feel way worse than before. and I can sit here & say I have no one to talk to about stuff but thats a lie. because theres friends that I can talk to. but I just say things at the wrong time and it makes it seem like im such a complainer and all i want is people to feel bad for me & thats not what I want & i dont want it to seem like that.

another issue: I find it difficult sometimes to 'be myself'. maybe if I didnt care about stuff so much and worry all the time it woulndt be such a problem. i need to get rid of my anxiety. it fucks things up. alot.

I wanna empty out my head. hah. then lay out all my thoughts and ideas. then put them back all neat and organized. I wouldnt want new ones, or to throw any away, the just need to be organized. organized thoughts would be really really fucking nice.

hmm. heres something happier:
I love the sparkly lights in my room theyre all like

sparkle sparklesparkle

glitter glitter glitttterrr

shiny prettylovely!

yes, i love them for sure.

oh, & christy, my best friend since like 5th grade is going to military school. Her parents are ridiculously crazy. they tell her shes a worthless peice of shit & that shes an embarasment & all this completly insane stuff thats sooo fucked up. so ya, Ive beent thinking about her leaving & i cant stop crying now because its just like, its hard to think aobut her being gone for such a long time..because I see her allll the time & its just gonna be really weird now. & like me and her tell eachother EVERYTHING & im gonna miss having her around & im gonna miss her crazy stupid stories and just ya. things are gonna be diffrent w/o ms. Scaggz. ='(

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[26 Jul 2006|02:11pm]
My life is not an apology; it's a life.
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